Monday, March 21, 2011
Spring is finally here. This has felt like the longest winter of my life. My heart has been just as cold as the weather. I had another moment in the breakroom at work today where someone asked me how I was doing and I just couldn't help but to cry again. Losing Jordan has been like living in a nightmare. Her pictures surround us and the girls are really beginning to miss her so much. They just don't understand. We lost Dingo a couple of months ago and Tater died last week. Michael went out to feed him and he was lying beside his dog house. He looked like he was sleeping peacefully. They are both buried in the back yard. Vegas and Mac are buried in the front yard, and my first family is now gone. We found out that Papa Don has lung cancer back in January. Three months of tests and the conclusion seems to be that there are no options for surgery and chemo would be a long shot. After watching Jordan and Papa Louie go through their treatments, he has determined that it isn't for him. He goes back to the doctor tomorrow and they'll determine if there are other medications that can help. With everything I learned from Jordan, all I could think was that we need to make each and every day with him special. I barely get a chance to talk to him as I rush in and out of the house every day. He and Mema Shirley come to take care of the kids and by the time I get home, they are so beat they can't get home quickly enough. When I told Peyton what was going on with Papa, he said, "somebody needs to take that man to Texas." Peyt is a wonderful guy. As soon as he said Texas, it occured to me that Papa has always wanted to see the Alamo. So in two weeks, Peyton, Mema and I are heading to San Antonio. We are leaving the kids with our parents (dividing them amongst the two of them) and heading out west. We'll stop the first night in Biloxi so Papa can enjoy a night on the town. Mema will stay in the room...or so she says. She might find that it isn't so bad to play a few games of blackjack once you know how. I am so excited about the idea of being on the road with the three of them. I am ready to put this past winter behind us. It's time to move on and to enjoy every day we have....none of us are promised tomorrow.
Posted by Bobbie T at 17:51
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The biggest news has been her sleeping through the night and in her own room. So far so good. She's been in her baby bed for about three weeks now. She kisses everyone good night and goes right to sleep without a fuss. This is a really big deal for us to have a baby in her own room.
Posted by Bobbie T at 17:45
When everyone left for the night, Peyton parked the moving truck in the front yard and we all crawled into the moonwalk to watch "Monsters Vs Aliens." It was just like our own drive in theater and we were really enjoying ourselves. Samantha and Sabrina had already fallen asleep and Peyt, Destiny and I were really into the movie. Suddenly, Amelia sat up and looked down at me. I could see it all over her face, but before I could move, she threw up all over me. This wasn't just a little bit, it was all in my hair and from the neck of my shirt to my waistband. I've never seen anything like it from someone so little. Needless to say, the movie was over and we all headed inside for the night. Samantha was so upset. She cried for half an hour after we came in. She wanted to sleep outside in the moonwalk. I had to have a shower at 10:30 at night. It was an interesting way to end a very long day.
I am so amazed that it has already been a year. I remember being so afraid of the idea of having a baby again. I couldn't quit thinking about how impossible it would be to have car seats and bottles again. In a couple of days, I'll be packing up the bottles for good. It makes me cry to think that my baby is now a toddler. I'll never see the baby stage again as the Mommy. But one day I hope to have lots of grandchildren...that is a long time from now and only if my kids have it together enough to be good parents. I don't want to be one of those grandmother's who is having to be the mom.
Posted by Bobbie T at 16:23